Fear

It might sound paradoxical to say things like I am afraid of my being able to adjust too well... and, hopefully, it was just my misperception.

Why hopefully?

I am on 4mg risperdal, 1500 mg dapako, and 50 mg zoloft. I am 1 week and 2 days discharged from the hospital.

Up to today, the brain power has rebounded back to about 60% of the capacity, with a margin of 5-10% or so, which is something I have never experienced before (can't teach an old dog a new trick)

Such rate of rebound is alarming to me because it results in my concern about the effectiveness of medications for me in the long run and shall I need them.

One common symptom experienced by psychotic patients is magic thinking...

One theme in my head this far is that... some people might really have special magic powers that could help people such as witches etc. And, perhaps, it is the good witches that are helping me to adjust to this ground breaking rate of rebound (to myself).

The magic thinking is one I would like to believe in because...

It takes the fear away about what one could turn to when, one day, drugs have problems working...

Where are the alternatives to help one keep one's cognitive competent while having to undergo the inevitables?


http://ratologyreloaded.blogspot.com/2008/03/coping.html