I would have loved to get a better work done on the proposal I just finished... but, in a state incomprehensible to myself, in the process of going in and out of dasein moments, and, in a condition I consider as plausibly still too well drugged that the motivation thing is hardly any place to find.... and the lacking sense of urgency in life....
Whatever it is...
Miraculously... I just sent out the absolutely perfectly flawful study proposal.... to the teacher...
I have no idea how it was done...
It feels as if the head gets a command somehow and started executing the task called typing...
And, now... the system resets... nothing in the head...
Or, maybe, even in the moments of typing, there was this feeling of nothing much in the head as well... Speaking of da Goddess of language and the fountain of speech... 8-O lol
I have the idea that it is not really the quality I would like it to be.... because it could be better and, perhaps, it could always be better... 8-O 8-X
Then, I thought of what they say about a dissertation... you can't have a perfect dissertation anyways otherwise what are you and the rest of the academics gonna do with their time? The best dissertation is the one that is done even though, afterwards, someone like me might be quite confused why it was even done....
And, I thought of how I felt when I struggled to get the homework for the law class out... when I could not read and could not think...
And... the one thing I find comfort in... Dweck's theory... again... the effort... including the attempt you have to put forth to make an effort when that attempt itself is big.... 8-O lol sigh
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