How could it be?

This is the forth day after the dosage of Depakote is down by 50% to 250 mg.

In other words, I shall still be fairly psychotic and, with the decrease of the meds, there should be more signs of delusions and hallucinations.

Unfortunately, with only 200 mg Seroquel and 250 mg Depakote and a bit more than 2 months after I came out from the psychiatric ward, symptom-wise, I am finding myself doing much better than I have ever been, possibly, in the past 5 years.

There are hallucinations and delusions at times. However, they are like ships passing in the sea and occurs rarely.

In addition, at this point, I am still feeling flat most of the times although I could be more engaging in conversations now when needed. Based on my writing, I also think my head is moving more...

So, when I was staring into the street, smoking that cigarette to wake myself a bit more up, my psychiatrist's question and mine arise.... "How could it be?"

Two months time is long from one to recover from a cold or even a flu.

Yet, two-month time is relatively short for an institutionalized-grade of psychotic episode.

It is not natural... this speed of recovery....

It is not normal... so soon, again, feeling so overdosed.... having cut down Depakote from 1500mg to 250mg within 2 months time?

Are there now positive symptoms I am failing to identify or recognize?

Are my dopamines now getting to used to hanging on the beach?

Or, else, how could it be?

The funny thing is... it is more scary now not being able to locate the adequate number of symptoms than any other conditions.... 8-O