Self observations

It has been officially a week since the dosage of Depakote went down by 50% to 250 mg.

Granted, I am becoming much more alert and less flat. Yet, the head still doesn't really move the way I would like it to...

Reading remain to be a task too strenuously... and make me feel as if I were to develop a tension headache.... (or the alternative hypothesis could rest in the diagnosis of "conversion disorder" etc? 8-O lol 8-X)

Since it doesn't really feel all that nice for me to keep my head in a vacuous state, as I have mentioned before, nowadays, I dependent mostly on audio books or listening to lectures to push information into that air head of mine.

An interesting thing I observed in myself is that... the sense of impatience has found its comeback. I guess this might have something to do with the affect department.

When listening to Homer's Iliad this morning while doing some photoshopping, I came across this chapter read by this gentleman at an "exceptionally slow speed" (as perceived by me) while I knew my head now could process more information that what was fed to me. The given frustration led me to find out that Windows Media Player allows you to change the playing speed and I ended up started to listen to all recordings at 1.3 times of the original speed.... and, of course, cut down on the amount of time it takes to go through each book.

At some point, I thought to myself... it would have been nice if I also could find all the research paper and writings I intend to read in audio format... call it the adaptive technology for people with my kinda learning or cognitive processing impairment, if not disability.

There are fleeting kinda hallucinations running around at times. However, the occurrences are relatively rare... Under the assumption that overactivities of my symptoms often equates to more effective and efficient processing of my head, I actually asked my head whether it is possible for it to spare me a bit more positive symptoms at times.

Regardless whether it was my wish being granted, these two days, my hallucinations and delusions have been telling me to "quit smoking." lol

Another hallucination that has been hovering around is the word... "Ratology."

Such is my status report on a head-somehow-doesn't-move-again day. 8-O lol sigh